10 years of this marriage business

27 05 2014

It’s 10 years ago today that I became a Mrs. On a steamy hot, sunny day in Barbados, hubby and I exchanged vows under the palm trees, promising a number of things to each other.

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On that day I don’t think that either of us talked about following each other to another country (or two), about rejoining the military, or having a long distance relationship.

Life’s rich tapestry has thrown us many opportunities. And a few curve balls. Some of which we’ve caught. Some we’ve dropped. Some are still being juggled. We’re just seeing where they land.

We’ve worked hard to get to where we are today. And I don’t just mean the travel, house, jobs and toys.

Marriage is hard work.

People who think that it’s all safe and secure once the ring is on the finger are deluded.

If we treated marriage like running a business, I reckon the divorce rate would drop drastically.

Imagine if you had a Board to report to on a monthly basis. You’d have to chart your progress against your annual targets. They’d keep you on the straight and narrow, applying good governance to all of your decisions.

You’d be held accountable for your actions. An independent third party would call you out on things you did wrong.

You’d have a strategy for improving your USP.

And if you did a crap job, you’d be sacked.

Simple. Right?

But that’s not how marriage works. We usually have to muddle our own way through, making our own mistakes, with only each other to highlight our weaknesses or shortcomings.

And we know how that usually ends!

I’ll freely admit there have been times when I’ve wondered if I’d ever see this day. Times that have made it difficult to see the great team we can be when things are good.

Yes at times it might have been simpler or easier to walk away. And I’m sure people have done so for far less than we’ve been through.

But the true test of a marriage is how you face up to those tough times and get past them. How do you take the bad times and make them work for you? How can you use them to actually make you a better and stronger couple than you were before?

As I look back at all we’ve done over the last decade, I can see so many achievements. So many things we’ve done together. So many things we’ve worked together for. And there’s so many more hopes and dreams for the future. Our future.

One thing’s for sure. We’ll work damn hard for it.

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